Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. Psalm 127: 3 – 5
One of the greatest gifts that God has blessed Jamie and me with is our two beautiful daughters, a great son-in-law, a soon-to-be son-in-law and two of the world’s greatest granddaughters.
This was a family vacation at a beautiful home in Florida. And that’s me in the middle, by the way. This is the gift that God has blessed us with. We’re so thankful.
Parenting is not passive. Parenting is for warriors.
One of the things I want you to notice about parenting is that parenting is not passive. Now, if you’ve had children, you don’t need me to make that statement, you know that. Notice the analogy that Solomon, who wrote this particular Psalm, used to describe the role of the parent and child relationship.
I don’t know about you, but I probably wouldn’t have come up with this analogy. But this is what God has described for parenthood. He said it’s like archery. He said being a parent is like being a skilled archer. It’s like one who is equipped for war, which lets us know that parenting is not for wimps. Parenting is for warriors. So that’s what God is telling us here, that parenting is for warriors – battle tested, battle proven warriors. And children are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
Parenting is a hands-on responsibility.
God has placed children in our hands. They are under our care, and we are to make sure that we protect them, that we provide for them, and eventually that we project them towards the destiny that God has for their life. Let’s just talk about these three things, and let’s look at some of the responsibilities that we have as parents, grandparents, guardians, and even spiritual parents.
First, we are responsible to protect our children.
One of the ways that you and I protect our children is to pray with and to pray for them. Now, I know that’s elementary. But how many of you know that prayer is a powerful weapon in the arsenal of God? Because with prayer, you can cancel and nullify the plots and the plans that the enemy has devised against your children.
You can simply nullify those evil plans by covering your children in prayer, praying God’s protection over them, asking God to send his delivering angels, to surround them and to keep them from harm’s way. You can also pray for unholy, ungodly influences that the enemy is trying to weave into their lives. There were people in our girls’ lives that we didn’t feel lined up with God’s will and God’s plan. Whenever we felt that in our family, Jamie and I would just begin to pray those influences out. You have to understand that as a parent, you have the power and the awesome privilege and the ability to do something like that. In return, as you pray certain people out of their life, you need to also pray certain people into their lives. You want to ask God to surround them with people who are going to make good choices in life, who obviously have a heart for God and the things of God.
So anytime you see someone in your child’s life that doesn’t line up with your core beliefs, you can pray them out. I’m not talking about being mean, I’m not talking about being nasty, and I’m not talking about totally excluding them from our lives. But I am talking about making sure that they do not become part of the inner circle of your child’s life. It’s important in their development, it’s important in their character, and it’s important in their destiny. We want to teach our children to love everyone, to show respect to everyone, but to be highly selective when it comes to choosing the inner circle of their friends. Friends are either going to strengthen our children or they’re going to weaken our children. We have the ability to pray godly influences into their life and ungodly influences out of their life.
You can use the blood of Jesus to protect your children.
You also have another weapon that you can use, and it’s the blood of Jesus. We need to be covering out children with the blood of Jesus. Because not only does the blood of Jesus cleanse us, sanctify us and redeem us from our sins, but the blood of Jesus also protects us. Do you remember in Egypt when the death angel came to visit that night? Every home that blood was applied, the death angel had to pass over or pass by that home. Because here’s the truth of the matter. If the devil had his way, he would have taken you out, he would have taken me out, and he would have taken our children out a long time ago. He comes to kill, to steal, and to destroy. But thanks be to God that God comes to give us life, and life more abundantly here on this earth. You and I can pray the blood of Jesus over our children, not only as a cleansing agent, but also a protecting agent. When the enemy comes, he sees the blood, and he realizes that he cannot penetrate the blood. He has to pass over what he intended to do to your children. That’s one of the ways that you can protect them.
You can ask the Holy Spirit to give revelation and protection.
There are some other ways that you can protect them. You need to install a security device that monitors what your children are doing. Now, none of the students will be happy with what I’m about to say. In the natural, many of you have a security device in your home that you can track who’s coming and going, right? You have a phone. You can see who’s approaching your door. You can tell when that door has been opened, right? You do that. You can see all of that happening. How much more should we have a spiritual security system in our life as well? Now, in case you’re wondering how that applies, it’s this. He is called the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit can reveal to you and show you things in the Spirit to let you know what’s going on in your home.
I was raised in that kind of home. I was raised in a home where I had a praying mother. I couldn’t get away with anything because I know now how she figured it out. But growing up, especially as a teenager, I couldn’t figure out how she knew what I was doing, where I was going, and what I was doing when I got there. It got to the point where none of my friends would invite me, because every time they did, we ended up getting busted. That is a security device which the Holy Spirit gives us to be able to discern and hear what’s going on in our children’s lives. I am convinced and I fully believe that if you will pray over, pray with and pray for your children, when they are in danger, God will reveal it to you.
As part of that device, you need to know what’s going on in their life. You need to know who they’re texting and what they’re texting. These are gates of entry into your child’s life, and you need to know what is going on with and in your children. Now, I know it’s a different age and a different day, but I’m telling you, you are the one paying for that bill. And even if you’re not, it’s still under your roof. So, Moms and Dads, it’s not your job to be their best friend. It’s your job to be a warrior, not a wimp.
Next, you need to provide for them.
Obviously, we understand what this is about. In the natural, you think about food. You think about clothing. You think about a roof over their heads. But how many of you know provision is much more than material things? What you leave in them when you’re gone is far more important than what you leave to them. The spiritual is much more important than the material.
Even though Abraham was a very wealthy man, God did not choose Abraham to be the father of many nations based upon his monetary wealth. God chose Abraham to be a father of faith, because God knew that Abraham would pass his faith to the next generation. I want you to look at this scripture with me.
Yes, I’ve settled on him as the one to train his children and future family to observe God’s way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly so that God can complete in Abraham what He promised for him. Genesis 18:17-19 MSG
This is generational. God chose Abraham because not only would Abraham have faith in God, but Abraham would pass his faith to the next generation. This faith would increase rather than decrease. God does not want our relationship with Him to end with you. God wants this to be passed on from generation to generation.
We can see Abraham using this “arrow in a warrior’s hand” approach to training his children.
If I had an arrow with me today, one of the things that you would notice is an arrow comes with a shaft. The shaft has to be straight. If the shaft is not straight, the arrow, when you shoot, will wobble.
The shaft represents our children’s life experiences and lessons.
When we raise them, we don’t want to raise them with an up-and down-wobble faith. We want this thing to be straight. We want to make sure that we are steadfast in our approach and our relationship with him
Every arrowhead has a sharp point.
If the head is blunt, it’s ineffective because it will not penetrate the target in which it is directed towards. It won’t stick. So just keep this in mind. I’m going to come back to it. We’re aiming our children towards something.
Feathers represent the governing principles in your child’s life.
Now, the feathers that come with that arrow create stability for the arrow, and the feathers also help with accuracy. They help guide the arrow to the target in which you are shooting towards. Now let’s go back, and I want you to look at this verse. Watch how Abraham used all three of these concepts that I just shared with you to raise his children. Look at the arrow. Look at the shaft. Life lessons and experiences.
So, what did Abraham do? The Bible says that he trained his children and his future family. How many of you know that raising children requires a lot of training? You have to train them in God’s way. You have to train them in God’s Word. The Bible said that Abraham would train them to observe God’s way of life. So now God’s revealing to us how we are to train our children. We are to train them in God’s way of life.
We need to point our children towards Jesus.
How many of you know that if you do things the way that God tells us to do, we will live a prosperous life? If you do it God’s way, you will succeed? Your Bible says this. There’s a way that seems right unto a man, but in the end, it leads to death. But it also says that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. The Bible says this as well: Train up a child in the way that they should go. Why is that? Because there’s only one way. That way is Jesus. Now our target is coming into focus. We’re aiming them towards Jesus because He is the way. In a world that tries to tell us that there are many ways, we know there’s only one way, and his name is Jesus.
As a parent, I cannot expect my children to have a desire for the house of God, to have a desire for the work of God, to have a desire for the kingdom of God, if I don’t direct them or point them in that direction. I have to point them in that direction. They don’t know yet. That’s why you’re their parent. You’re training them. You’re educating them. You’re teaching them. If I expect my children to honor their mother, guess what? I need to honor their mother and vice versa. If I don’t honor my wife, then I’m not pointing my children. If I don’t do what the Bible tells me to do, then I can’t expect my children are going to go in that direction. If I’m aiming my children towards the world and the world’s ways, guess where my children are going to end up? They are going to end up in the world. And they’re going to end up in the world’s ways. But train up a child in the way that they should go and, here’s your promise parents, when they get old, they will not depart from the truth. They will not depart from the truth.
The instruction and training stage is adolescent age (0-12).
During this stage, principles are laid. This stage is routine and repetition. You might as well get rid of the phrase, “Did you hear me?” Because no, they can’t. Another phrase to get rid of is, “Do you understand me?” No, they don’t. I don’t know what happened to them. I don’t know when they’re hearing clicks in. “Do you hear me?” No, but this is what this stage looks like. There should be a picture here.
This is what this stage looks like compared to the next stage you’re getting ready to walk into, which is the teenage stage. This is the application stage
The principles you have taught for twelve years are now going to be challenged during the teenage years (13-18).
All those years of instruction and all those years of training, this is where it gets crazy. Because this is the age that they want to challenge what we’ve taught them. And that’s okay. Let them challenge what we’ve taught them. You would rather be challenged while they’re with you than when they get away from you.
You want them to challenge you while they’re there. How many of you know that this is all about building relationships now with your children? And the best school to learn about relationships and resolving conflicts is the University of Family. The professor teaches and trains the student for more than 18 years at this university, right?
This is what this stage looks like. What happened to that little innocent kitten? The first stage is – submit, submit, submit. This stage is survival. That’s what it’s about. You’re trying to survive. It’s going to be all right. Just hang in there. It’s going to be all right. Grandchildren are coming.
The last and final stage is to project them and to launch them around the 18-24 year range.
Now, here’s what you have to understand about this. The principles that you laid out, the principles that you taught, the principles that were challenged during that period of time will become the principles that are loved and lived. He’s the God of Abraham, the God of Jacob, and He became the God of the twelve tribes of Israel. And the God of the twelve tribes of Israel became the God of the nation. And the God of the nation of Israel becomes the God of the world. You’re aiming them, you have a target in mind, and his name is Jesus. And every time they start going off course, you get them right back on target. And trust me, they’re going to get off course. And that’s why they’re in your hands. You’re going to bring them back into line, and you’re going to keep pointing them in that direction. And it will click. Trust me, it will click. What you deposit into them will manifest. It will come to fruition. The law of sewing and reaping will happen. And you’ll reap a reward because God says these are my reward. These children are a reward that I’ve given you. Now, train them up in the way that they should go and when they get old, they will not depart from it.
Now, you and I know it’s a different day and time that we live in. It seems as though innocence is gone. But I still believe that God has His hand on our children. I still believe there’s a purpose and a plan for their life. And this is what I know. The greater the attack, the greater the assignment and blessing that God has on their life. I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt. I’m going to pray this prayer over them, and I hope you will join me.
Life Point Church Prayer Over Our Children
Father, I thank you that you invite us into your protection; that when we seek you and make you our God that you promise to command your angels to watch over us. (Psalm 91:9 – 12)
I pray now that you would protect my children as they go throughout their days. Hem them in behind and before and lay your hand upon them. (Psalm 139:5)
Do not let any harm come to them. Keep each of my children safe beneath your wings and guard them against any plots that are meant to harm or bring ruin to them. Be close to each of my children, Lord. Surround them with your favor as with a shield. (Psalm 5:11 – 12)
I pray you would protect them in all ways they walk; in their coming out and their going in. Guard them against diseases of the mind and body, accidents, predators and all kinds of evil and evil-doers.
Anoint each of my children with your favor and protection, letting them rest safely between your shoulders. (Deuteronomy 33:12)
Father, as my children walk through their days, I pray you would give them clear direction in doing your will, so they may remain within your protection.
Give them wisdom to know when to shy away from potential harm, both physically and spiritually. Then help them courageously walk away from it. May the blood of Jesus wash over each of my children, covering them as they walk through this day and every day of their lives. In Jesus’ might name, Amen.